God's love

This is from a note I posted on Facebook a few days ago, but I think I should have posted it here instead. It seems a more appropriate venue. Anyhow, here it is.
***********

I’ve been a Christian for most of my life. And even so, I sometimes have a hard time grasping the fullness of God’s love. How could anyone, willingly and knowingly, go through what Jesus went through on the cross for our sake? In my mind, I know why He did it. Years of Bible study and church have educated me as to the reasons. But my view of the crucifixion became something new to me this Easter.

On Friday, my 19 month old son, Aiden, had a severe allergic reaction to peanut butter. Aiden had eaten his first serving of peanut butter shortly before I picked him up, and by the time I got him home, he was suffering terribly. When I determined he was in respiratory distress, I called 911 for help.

Those minutes leading up to the 911 call and waiting for the medics to arrive are hands down, the scariest of my life. And that fear had absolutely nothing to do with my own physical self and well being. I was fine. It had everything to do with the love and concern that I had for my son. Your mind takes you funny places in the midst of an emergency. You picture the worst while simultaneously praying for the best.

Aiden ended up being just fine after some Benadryl, breathing treatment, and now, a peanut-free diet. I watched his condition improve in the ambulance, hospital, and then at home. My relief was and still is palpable.

And after reflecting on this ordeal time and time again since Friday (and many times to come, I’m sure), I have a better understanding of Christ’s ultimate sacrifice. My cerebral comprehension regarding the necessity of the crucifixion really engaged with my heart.

If someone had told me, in those moments when I literally feared for Aiden’s life and well-being, that healing him would cost me my life, I would have given it. I can say, with that feeling so fresh in my mind, that I know I would have done anything to help him, no matter what it cost me. And the reason why I could put Aiden’s life before my own is because of my incredible love for him.

I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. If God’s love for me is on the same level as my love for Aiden, then just like my example with Aiden, of course Jesus would die so that I could have eternal life in Heaven.

I picture Jesus’ concern for His lost children. He well knows the consequence for those who reject Him. I imagine that He is desperate, like I was but magnified, to save those lives. I envision His anxiety, worry, and tears over those that might be forever lost. And I get why He didn’t stop the crucifixion – why He went to Calvary without fighting it. I really get it.

By giving me children, I certainly have a litmus test by which to compare God’s love for me. And oh, how I appreciate that He cares. I didn’t do a thing to earn God’s love – just like Sydney and Aiden didn’t do a thing to earn mine. It’s just there. It’s real. It’s powerful. It’s unending.

I do attribute Aiden’s recovery to God’s intervention and I am grateful. So in spite of Friday’s “excitement”, I had a blessed Easter weekend….even if we did throw away the Reese Cups and Butterfinger eggs.